What the hell is an Elf on the Shelf?
Being 27 years old with no children, there are some “phenomena” that I don’t understand. A few months ago, dozens of little girls were ranting and raving over some chick called Sophia the First.
The First what?
Anyway, another one of those phenomena is this Elf on the Shelf character. Between my friends’ children, my little cousins, and my customers’ children, I’ve gathered he is an elf who watches the children and reports back to Santa. The elf tattle-tails on the children’s behavior and Santa determines if the child is naughty or nice.
Quite a few people have said they wish they could leave the Elf out all year long, but it is tradition that the Elf comes out the day after Thanksgiving and stay until Christmas Eve.
Ok. I’ve got that much. Here’s my confusion.
First, according to almost every kid I’ve asked, their Elf has a name that THEY (the children) got to pick out. My little cousins’ Elf’s name is Red McStuffins. How he came up with that, the world may never know. My niece’s Elf’s name is Sugarplum, “But he is a boy, not a girl,” she informs me.
So, you get a second babysitter of sorts that you get to name? How is that magic? Shouldn’t your Elf come with a name and back story like, “oh…he’s the most strict of all Santa’s elves!” Just a thought. Ok, so the kid gets to make-up the back story. Got it.
Next, what is up with this Elf’s behavior?! He is a mischievous little guy that according to Facebook and Instagram gets stuck in a lot of strange situations. Some innocent, like a hand in the cookie jar. Some not so innocent, like under the covers with Barbie. (You know who you are, you naughty Elf on the Shelf lovers!)
Anywho, this Elf is supposed to be checking your behavior; yet he is running around your home causing a ruckus?! What the french, toast?
Finally, the “magic” part. The children cannot see the adults touch the Elf. No one can touch the Elf. The Elf magically ends up in these situations.
I told you all that so I could tell you my Elf on the Shelf story. I was cleaning a customer’s house when I came upon the Elf sitting on the bottom part of the staircase handrail. I took my cloth, sprayed the handrail and picked up the Elf to dust underneath it. Just as I picked up the Elf, the children came running down the stairs, “Adults can’t touch the Elf! Adults can’t touch the Elf! Now he’s lost his magic!”
The first thing I could respond with was, “Oh no guys, I called Santa and explained to him that I had to get the house nice and clean for his arrival and in order for me to do that, I may have to clean up after his elves. Santa said that it was okay because he liked a clean house and he knows his elves can get pretty messy.”
Kids: “OHHH!!! But, you promise you called Santa.”
Me: “I pinky swear Santa knows and he said it was ok.”
Kids: “Ok! Yay! Our Elf still has his magic.”
And off they went.
Holy cow! Crisis averted! Jeeze, I had to think quick on my feet for that one.
The moral of this story is for parents.
Parents, please fill us non-having children folks in on your little magic tricks and give me a heads up before I go breaking your kids’ hearts.